Congratulations! You’re an American traveling to France. Here’s how to act (and how not to act) so that you don’t offend every French person you meet.
Must do’s in French politeness:
- Say ‘bonjour’ when you enter a store, restaurant, hotel, or other establishment or service relationship.
- Travel outside of Paris. France is a huge, diverse country. I’m on to talk, as I’m about as obsessed with Paris as a person can be, but the countryside, small towns, and vineyards of France are beautiful, charming, and much quieter and cleaner than Paris.
- Take one round of cheese from the dessert cheese board. It’ll only make the rounds once. Also never take the ‘nose’ of a wedge of cheese. (That’s the pointy tip of the wedge.) It’s considered the best part of the cheese and rude if you take it all for yourself. Cut a tranche (slice) of cheese from the side so you get a bit, but not all of, the nose.
- Speak in reasonable, quiet tones (look around you and mirror/mimic the tone of everyone else. Restaurants, cafés, the metro, everything is quieter in France. Americans – definitely groups of us – are very loud.
- Try to speak in French. Don’t be put off when you get corrected or when the French reply back in English, because you will be corrected. Approach these attempts with humility and a willingness to learn. And try, try, try again.
- Eat amazing food, drink incredible wine. Have a great time. France is not the place to institute or keep strict diets. (Diets make us miserable anyway.) Unless you have a life-threatening food allergy or health condition, indulge in and enjoy the beauty of French gastronomy with a certain joie de vivre.
‘Faux pas’ en France / How not to act in France
- Speak only English. Even though you’ll get corrected. Even though they’ll probably switch to English for you, you’ve got to try speaking in French. It’s the polite thing to do, wherever you travel, to learn some basic phrases in that language and try to use it and speak in it.
- Ask for extensive dietary adjustments or substitutions at small restaurants. They probably can’t accommodate them like a big American restaurant could.
- On a busy city street, look people in the eyes, wave and say hello, and expect the same response in return. Culturally, it’s just not done, particularly in bigger cities. Best case scenario: The French will ignore you. Worst case: They’ll look at you like you’re a bit cuckoo.
- Speak loudly. It’s just rude. Tone down your tone, listen to the people around you. If people are shooting you dirty looks, you’re too loud. It’s time to develop some self-awareness of your public presence.
- Get publicly drunk. The French have turned drinking wine into an art form. But they rarely get publicly drunk. Like most things with regards to consumption (food, clothes, wine, pastries), the French have mastered the ‘all things in moderation’ adage. Drink a glass of wine or two at dinner and then call it. The wine pours are smaller in France than the US anyway.
- Walk into a store without saying hello. This is the #1 reason why Americans have ‘bad’ customer service experiences in France. If you walk into a cafe, don’t say hello, and just place your order, this is considered extremely rude in France. You MUST acknowledge your fellow human’s humanity by saying hello before launching into demanding what you want.
- Ask someone what they do for work. The French are private about these sorts of things. It’s kind of refreshing to have a conversation that doesn’t start with ‘so what do you do?’ You are more than your labor or your salary!
- Expect AC in your hotel or ice in your glass. It’s just not widespread in France like it is in the US.
- Rush your server at a restaurant. Like any restaurant, if you have to be in and out quickly, let your server know and they’ll let you know what’s possible. Most French dinners take 2-3 hours, so you really won’t be able to rush in and out. Also, your server will never bring your check unless you ask for your check. So ask for your check when you’re ready to leave.
- Refer to your waiter as ‘garçon’. I’m not sure where this terrible idea came from. Maybe American movies from the 50s? You’re basically calling a grown man ‘boy’. Not a good look and not a way to ingratiate yourself to your server.
- Ask for a French person’s opinion … unless you really want to know their real opinion. The French are honest and forthcoming with their opinions. If you’re trying on an outfit at a boutique, for example, they will tell you if it’s the wrong size or if it doesn’t suit you. They aren’t going to lie to your face.
- Wear sweats or leggings outside the gym. This is changing, somewhat. But it’s considered more socially acceptable to dress up a bit more in France than you might in the US. Besides, you’re in France, why not dress up and feel pretty?
Come to the South of France with me!
I’m a Francophile. I love France, the French language, French food and wine, and French history, and I’m leading a yoga retreat to the South of France in 2025. To experience this beautiful place with someone who deeply understands French culture and speaks fluent French, join me this July for a week of yoga, sunshine, and excellent French food and wine.
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